recycledAir

"a heart that hurts, is a heart that beats"

I had an inkling today, a vibe that chilled my skin to the point of feeling uncomfortable.  I've said before that sometimes I wish I could get away from myself, and I guess today was one of those days.  I've realized something very important with the help of a very important person, that I've allowed my heart to become soft spoken and I now believe that these uncomfortable inklings are the voiceless screams of my heart desperatly trying to comunicate with me.

I hear I have so much more to go, I understand.
I'm told I need to be MORE patient., I understand.
I'm instructed to give more than I take, I understand.

It's just that when it falls apart and I once again have to put it back together it seems a little heavier and for that split second the darkness within me takes hold and makes me scream out loud "I'M DRAINED.....I DON'T WANT TO CARE ANYMORE!!!!!" over and over.

I fight it back, I don't cage it cause after all it is a part of me, a part of everyone, we all have our loads to bear and our demons to play chess with.

However I think I now know what I want most out of life...but I will not write it here.  There are now two very important questions I must answer;

why and should I.....

posted by: recycledair at 04:59 | link | comments (2) |

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